One Time Near Nerd Camp
by Shadowmaster951
Summary: Many random events, one after another.
1. One Time Near Nerd Camp

One time near nerd camp while riding a mutant buffalo, a river of plasma engulfed the gelatinous form of Pompeii. Meanwhile in the far off underwater world of Pablo a stampede of dolphins came rushing through China and Russia. Me ,equipped with a Squirrel Launcher, had to destroy the menace called Menace, a big Cerberus like creature. So in the Colosseum I attacked Menace and got a 192 hit combo each doing a critical hit which would even out to 384 hits and it goes back to where it came from, L.A. In order to close the last seal of Dr. Anderson I had to get the Sword of Mac called Big Mac and hit a wildabeest with it in the face. The wildabeest transformed into Transfixo, a robotic minotaur and summoned Kung Fu Eagl who joined me after I gave him a pringle. So we double team Transfixo. Kung Fu Eagl could talk so he said, "Dude you be tripping" so I obviously agree.

We see a weird kid with an over sized key, a duck, and a dog beating up a floating knight. "I wont even ask" I said as I ask Kung Fu Eagl for food and of course he disapproves. I decide to go through a mountain using a conveniently placed bag of dynamite. This triggered nothing except an angry tourist who chased us into a lake filled with carnivorous rabbits. I ran like a Japanese school girl to Hong Kong where everyone was kung foo fighting. Kung Fu Eagl was moonwalking like there was no tommorow. So I punch him then start kicking random people. Soon after we get kicked out literally. So we walk to Yugoslavia and eat cooked giant rat. We then went to Africa and fought malaria literally. Those mosquitoes were as annoying as people saying Git-R-Done. Later I went to Antarctica alone since Kung Fu Eagl got rabies after eating Mario. In Antarctica I found the Declaration of Independence which I traded for an unparrelel space station which sent destruction beams raging around the world. It could do that, but my insurance doesn't cover damaged planets. Unfortunately Kung Fu Eagl got cured and wouldn't shut up! I blew up Pluto in frustration, since nobody cared about Pluto anyway.

At my house I'm reading Noobs: Where and How to Pwn Then when Kung Fu Eagl says "Oh no you didn't" at the 72" plasma screen 7.2 surround sound HDTV I bought off Ebay for a nickel. I leave with KFE and find a short Norwegian boy called Ereaven. Ereaven says to KFE "Polly want a cracker?"


	2. Confusion At Work

"Polly wants to kick your ass" KFE says as Ereaven quakes in fear. "Remember KFE the blacker you act the whiter you become" I say as KFE screams and flies off. So later I meet Neo Anderson, Dr. Anderson's son, and ask "Where did you get that sweet cape?" "Ebay...the blacker you act the whiter you become" Neo says as he beats up Ereaven just cause he's Norwegian. I then see the kid with the big key again so I ask "What's your name, the duck's, and the dog's?" He then responds

"I'm Sora, the duck's Donald, and the dog's Goofy."  
"What are you doing here?" I ask.  
"To kill all Norwegians" Sora responds matter-of-factly.  
"Just wondering, does that key work on doors?"  
"Some yes, but mainly not" Sora says as Ereaven runs aways and shortly later gets mauled by a Swedish clown midget.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy say in unison "You can get mauled but...wait...that midget stole our kill!" Sora and the crew say as they run after the Swedish clown midget. "What did I do?" the midget says in a Swedish accent as he transforms into a giant Tom Cruise's head and then chases Sora and his crew. "His...movies...are...too...bad...ahhhhh!" Sora, Donald, and Goofy say as they are eaten and a "Game Over" sign appears. "Weird" I say as KFE reappears and kills Tom Cruise's head. "I owe you one KFE" I say. "Yeah you do" KFE responds quickly. Soon after a giant Swedish meatball with a blood curdling scream rolled and ate KFE in an awkward attack. Then and rolled away. "Seeya Frank" I say.


	3. KFE's Hijinks

"Why didn't you save me?" KFE asks.  
"How'd you survive?" I respond sharply.  
"I summoned my Vulture brothers from other mothers" KFE says.  
"Lets hijack a car" KFE says as he flies forward and I follow.

We jump into a car and then see Ereaven in the back seat "Ereaven how'd you live?" We ask, amazed. "I gave the midget a chicken and a tube sock" Ereaven says. So me, KFE, and Ereaven are in the car, KFE driving in a 1846 B.C. Ford Pinto and have loud rap music playing at full blast with the windows down to keep from getting shot. "We need this music in such a black/latino neighborhood!" ,I yell as loud as I can, "and isn't it dangerous for you to be driving KFE?" I continue. "Of course not, the water I chugged might do something though" KFE says as I hear multiple cars screeching as KFE can't reach the brake pedal, the gas pedal is stuck, and is driving in the middle of the road. Not to mention is going 125 M.P.H and rising "I'm illegal in 46 states woohoo!" KFE says as we crash into Luigi. Luckily only Ereaven gets Pwn3d with a capital 3. "Well at least it wasn't my car" KFE says. "Quiet, my yeast is rising" I say as we jump out of the car then the car blows up for no reason.

Then a 14-year-old female gryphon who walks on 2 legs and is the size of a normal 14 year old and such comes out of an inter dimensional time warp and challenges KFE to a race and KFE tells me to race for him."You're such a chicken" I say. "HAWK, I mean EAGLE!" KFE yells. "No, chicken" I continue. "Stop making fun of my brother, I mean mother" KFE says like the idiot he really is. At the race I say "You ready to lose, punk?." "Bring it bitch" Sarim ,the gryphon, says. I stare blankly as I get pwned . "How could you have lost to a girl?" KFE yells. "Shut up, at least I..." "Lost!" KFE interrupts. "I kill you!" I say as I lunge at KFE. "Oh crap" he says as he flies away like a little school girl. "I owned you fair and square...mainly triangular though." Sarim says. "Yeah...here's the $4000 I promised" I say as I hand it over. "I'll join you for your honesty" Sarim says. "Sweet" I respond.


	4. Well This Is Awkward

Currently, it's me, KFE, Sarim, and Ereaven (deceased). KFE comes back and we travel te Australia to find the Lost Tower of Pizzaz. So in the surrounding city..."100,471,821,004 bottles of your mom on the wa-- oww" I say as KFE beats the crap out of me "SHUT UP!" KFE yells. "Shut up you 2" Sarim says calmly. We get to the entrance of the Tower and have to fight the giant gelatinous form of Scooby Doo...weird. Luckily Sora pzones it with a capital 3. "Sora what are you doing here?" I ask. "Uh...no reason" Sora says as we walk away ,as in me, Sarim, and KFE. As KFE makes the "call me" sign to Sora I say "You really are gay aren't you?" "Shut up!" KFE responds. "Will all of you shut the hell up!" Sarim yells as we shut up. "Sometimes I regret having gone with the choice of going with you idiots" Sarim continues. "Did you say something?" I ask sincerely. "Will you shut up?" KFE yells at Sarim.

"We still need to travel to the top room and get the stupid goblet" I say sadly. "Are we getting paid for this?" KFE asks. "You're so selfish and full of yourself" Sarim snaps at KFE. "I'd like a piece o' dat" KFE says as he looks at Sarim, then gets slapped. "Well that destroys the chance of a relationship" I say. "No kidding" Ereaven says. "True dat...wait how did you..and it...and oh well" I say as I explain what we're trying to do to Ereaven and he agrees to join. "Alright well now let's get in th..." I say as I see an area full of zombies. "What now boy blunder?" Sarim asks me with a sigh. "Time to get out my _blessed_ squirrel launcher" I say as I get it out and on contact with sub-humans or undead they die instantly. "Sarim just don't touch the ammo unless you want to die" I say. She understands and simply nods. So I launch multiple squirrels like I was in a Rambo film and pzone the zombies. "We need to move fast bec..." I say as there's no one behind me. "Oh crap" I say as I put the launcher away and walk through the musty, damp halls until I reach the 99th floor and enter the sacred room and see Ereaven, KFE, and Sarim looking at me like I'm an idiot. "How'd you get here so fast?" I ask. "Shortcut" they say simultaniously. "Typical...well lets go" I say as we leave and sell the ritual artifact on Ebay. "So lets find the lost city of Atlantis" Ereaven says as KFE says "I can't swim" and Sarim says "me either" and I say "Me either...don't blame me cause I'm white." Shortly after a pumpkin guy with a really tight jumpsuit to exentuate all his supplties called Alfonso, his weapon is the power of pudding, is standing in front of the exit.


	5. A Little Too Much Eagl

"You must defeat me to pass" Alfonso says "and all my 1,200 hp, 300 mp." "So what? I have 60,000 hp and 21,500 mp" I say. "Oh...crap..." Alfonso says. "We both have 90,000 hp and 100 mp" Sarim and KFE say. "I'll be back..you'll see" Alfonso says as he teleports away. "Heh we bluffed...our total combined hp is 1500 hp and 200 mp" I say happily as we leave. "Ha I knew you bluffed" Alfonso says from inside the Tower. "Who cares, we left already" I say. "Hmmm I should have looked at that plan a little more closely" Alfonso says as he blows up and leaves his staff of pudding in a mage's hands. "Thank you" an anonymous voice says...a girls voice "but this staff will be of little use, as I already have an all-purpose staff." "Can you step out of the shadows?" I ask. "I am sorry, I am but a refugee, please don't take me away" she says kindly. "I'm not gonna...we aren't gonna hurt you" I say smiling. "...okay...I'm Collette" Collette says smiling. "Well friends it is time to travel over yonder" I say. "Wat you talkin bout foo?" KFE asks demandingly. "You people don't know your old english? Well just follow me" I say. So we travel forward for a long, time time in a frozen mountain tops in winter. KFE freezes up literally so I put him in my backpack. "Heh...eaglsickle" I say.


	6. Don't Be Like These People

When we reach the top it's very warm so KFE unfreezes. We look in astonishment at the thousands upon thousands of goblin reinforcements running down a mountain (surrounding mountains) and locusts rained down from the sky. So we flee into a nearby deserted inn."We're surrounded" Sarim says regretfully. "True dat home...humans" KFE says. "Well it seems since we're gonna die..." I say as Collette casts "Death" and all the enemies die instantly. "Dang...you got skillz" KFE says.to Collette. "Thank you but we must go" Collette says while blushing at KFE's comment. "I agree" as we step outside and travel 5 feet to the next town. "It looked further on the map..." I say as I get slapped by Sarim. We then get assaulted by mutant grasshoppers and rabid weasels but they kill eachother so we walk forward. 

I notice a deep cave so we walk into it. An evil creature that even one glance of it's aura would entoxicate your bodily remains showed up. "It's...it's...FURBY!" I yell as hundreds of Furbys capture us. "Wh...where am I? I ask as I look around and see KFE. "Yo pops where are our homies?" He asks. "I don't know but they are most likely fine" I say. Ninjas appear and we battle with 2-Bit action! 

"The...graphics...suck" I say as we run. "Yo at least you wasn't a 'm'!" KFE yells. "That's true...at least mine is my basic shape" I say. "Bush is racist against blacks" KFE concludes. "You're a hawk and what does Bush have to do with a 'm'?" I ask. "A black hawk..." KFE quietly says. "I'm not stealing the murasame next to me...I'm borrowing it with no intention to return it" I say as I grab a murasame blade. "Fight the power G" KFE says. "I'm tired" I say as I eat racist people. "Pac-Man would be proud" KFE says as I walk past him. "Don't leave a brutha hangin" he says as he follows me. Ereaven appears in a mage cloak and owns all with black tornado and becomes a 1337 Haxor, then runs away. "Now that that's over..." KFE says.


	7. Warning, 1337 Exposure Causes Cancer

"Yeah" I say as we meet with Owned, the lizard, "Your friends are here" Owned says. "Thanks Owned" I respond as Sarim and Collette tell us stuff we don't care about. "Great now lets go" I say as we get trapped by giant lizards. "Ha I am the Ownage" Ownage says as Roy and Falco team up and own Owned and his minions. "To Mexico" Roy says as he and Falco run away at blazing speeds. "Right" I say as all four of us leave and enter the sewers reluctantly. 

"This place smells like your house man" KFE says to me. "No kidding" I say as Sarim slaps me for some random reason. "You daughter of a...church" I say although KFE interrupts. "There are kids present you idiot" KFE says. Sarim grins at us both.

Meanwhile in mushroom village the "1337" hammer bros. are telling Peach "You is the haxor we teh roxor all noobs" They say. "Right then...SECURITY" Peach yells as they get kicked out. "We tis got owned" They say.

"I feel like..two turtles are acting like n00by message boarders" I say. " / II /\/\34/\/ I13I 3 7I-I1$ olollololooolololololooolololollololol" KFE says. "Nooooooooo!" I yell as Sarim and Collette leave. Roy and Falco join us because they can and Me, Falco, KFE, and Roy are running away from a dwarven golem. So obviously when we get to a dead end I summon Atlanta the God of War who rains chaos arrows into the dwarven golem who crumbles like a messed up dog. "Weird" I say with a grin as me and KFE walk out of the 3-D simulation and enter another world via black hole.


	8. Who Knew KFE Had It In Him

"Welcome to level 121 territory, keyword:DARKNESS" ,a computer voice says, "Have a nice day." "My bad, wrong keyword" I say. "Smooth" KFE says angrily. "Our levels combined are 20" I say. KFE simply stares at me blankly. "Oh well" I say as I see a vampiric Valkyrie fused with dwarved spider monkeys that cause chaos in their wake. "Wow" KFE says blankly...again. "You dare enter out territory...noobs?" The monster says which makes the cave quake. "It called you a noob" I say to KFE while grinning. "NOOB?" KFE screeches (Level999999999999999999x99999999999999999999) "YOU DIE!" KFE yells as he smashes the ground destroying all ,except me, then reverts back to normal. "Awesome" I say as I carry KFE in my backpack. As we walk through the cave...a giant wildabeest engulfs Pompeii in a disastrous attack. 

As we watch the horror Fox, Krystal, and Slippy materialize with Roffle running away from the wildabeest. "We must kill it!" Slippy yells as he gets eaten. Roffle, Ereaven's brother's mother's son's cousin's great stepaunt's sister's son's son's son runs and hides behind Krystal. "PERV" Krystal yells as she back-hands Roffle. "Owned" I say as KFE snickers and Roffle gets up. "Misa no understand" Roffle says as he summons a zombie Slippy and owns Fox. "Give me one reason not to kill you" Krystal says. "Um...because we didn't do anything wrong...perhaps?" I ask. "Yeah well I guess that's true" Krystal says, lowering the gun. "Well time to pzown some noobs" KFE says as he gets out his "Guide to Pwning Noobs." "What page are you on?" I ask KFE. "9,264" KFE responds, not really caring about what I said. "You noobs and your ways" I say matter-of-factly. "What did you say, punk?" Krystal says, shooting and missing on purpose. "Oh no you didn't" I yelled as I get out my upgraded plasma squirrel launcher. "Crap" Krystal said as she teleported away. "Dangit, and I bought new plasma too" I say as I put away my new launcher. "Dang, thats some fine guns you got there" KFE says, like the noob he really is.


	9. Copyrights

This list of copyrights will only grow. First off, all characters are copyrighted somehow or someway. I will only show these copyrights once, not anymore during the story .These will change as I add more characters.

Disney - Donald , Goofy

Me - Squirrel Launcher, Ereaven, Kung Fu Eagl/KFE, Blessed Squirrel Launcher, Sarim, Transfixo,Dr. Anderson, Alfonso, Roffle (The character),

Nintendo - Mario, Krystal, Slippy, Fox, Falco, Roy, Peach, 1337 Hammer Bros, Atlanta

Namco - Pacman, Collette

Square Enix - Sora, Sephiroth

Aro - "F-F-V-I-I" Reference


End file.
